RANTS: $8.99 Clementines?! Get OUT!

This past week I've had more energy than usual -- so much so that you'd think I'd been O/Ding on Vitamin C -- and well, come to think of it, I have. Here is a long-blog to prove it!

Each and every day I swing on over to my favorite dance studio -- STEPS on Broadway for my daily torture session (that is, ballet!). This studio is very conveniently located right smack dab in the middle of a great grocer here in NYC -- Fairway! In fact you must sort of duck through the middle of the fruit stand outside to get to the studio door. Normally this elicits all sorts of demi-criminal behavior. I tend to grab a handful of whatever they have out -- my favorite being the cherries! All my friends do the same and I guess we tell ourselves that this is not stealing per se, it's more like we are just in on Fairway's little secret that they want to donate to artists! Otherwise why in the world would they put fresh fruit out openly next to the door where starving dancers enter and exit all day?!!! I tell myself -- "well, I'm sure they write the "loss" off -- and get both an insurance refund and a tax credit besides". It makes good sense - and well, it suits my fancy to boot! Ha!

However for the past few weeks, I've been getting a sort of "get out of jail free card" because they've been giving away Clementine's for free! That is right -- FOR FREE! No strings attached! Of course they've got all sorts of snazzy signage -- "TRY THE GLORIOUSLY SWEET CLEMENTINE! BLAH BLAH BLAH" and I'm guessing that these bells and whistles over the longed-for-flavor of the Clementine is supposed to generate not only chats and chews, but of course, sales!

However, I bet it's not at all working. I bet my life on it really, BECAUSE THEY ARE $9.00 a box! Can you believe.. the smallest little pea of an orange -- $9.00 a box?! and it's a tiny box mind you. Like a shoe box for men's shoes. I find it outrageous! Furthermore, just the other night I was in line getting a few things -- and my bill was ridiculous! I got Coconut Milk, 3/4 lb NOT ORGANIC Porkchops, A Bag O' Greens & Veggie Broth = $20.00! However, the man in front of me? Even worse....He had 4..... count them 1...2...3...4...Oranges. Just regular old oranges. And the lady put them on the scale and came up with $9.13!!! I almost fell over! He actually got out his wallet to pay! I involuntarily gasped and he looked at me and I said, "there must be some mistake!" He looked at the number and to the cashier and said "What, Yeah - that, uh, tha..that... can't be right!" She said "It's what the scale says!" -- and then she said further "They are blood oranges!" to which he said "no -- they are navel oranges!" and she said "well the sticker says blood orange" and he says "its mislabeled -- can't you tell that they are just normal oranges...." and on and on it went.

Now, I decided to just keep my little mouth shut but I was thinking the entire time DOES IT MATTER WHAT KIND OF ORANGE IT IS??? REALLY? I mean Oranges grow for free? Right? Humans didn't invent them -- but some human a loooooooooooong time ago stood on a piece of land and said "MINE" right before they declared themselves "ROYAL" -- like a pitiful, precocious child, no doubt. And now, centuries later, 4 Oranges cost $9.13 (2.25/orange) -- which means you would have to work at least 2 hours at a minimum wage job to afford them (7.25*2=14.50, then after tax = about 10.15). Imagine -- if you worked 40 hours minimum wage about you could afford about 90 oranges! (7.25*40= 290, then after tax =203. 203/2.25=90) Does this make sense? UHM. NO! IT IS ABSURD!

Now lets evaluate this a bit further, shall we? Ok. So. Eh-eh.

The "reason" these things cost so much is because of the cold spell in the tropics where these little lovelies grow and of course the cost of gas, new taxes blah blah blah -- and well, you know they "would never want to raise the price" otherwise -- BUT THEY "HAD TO"! So, we hard working, small business minded Americans, we buy this line of bull -- hook, line and sinker! (ASIDE: Do you think a Parisian (or a Haitian for that matter!) would buy such bull hockey reasons for raising the price of their standard fare? Mais NON! They would set the store on fire and have a riot!) It seems most American's are still nostalgic for that family run business by a decent human being "just like them" -- a business which simply doesn't rarely exists anymore. The public it seems, is rather totally blind sighted to the fact that these corporations pocket enough money to be able to withstand a storm or a new tax without it affecting their prices to such a ridiculous extent. These companies have complicated algorithms to track their monies -- it's not some Mom and Pop's organization where every penny counts equally (even if their goods are packaged as if it is). What these companies can not stand however, is losing a crop load of money due to GAMBLING their profits on high, high, too high, DUMB risk investments that didn't pan out (uh, duh), thereby ruining their plans for some sort of 5th or 6th home. They call this a "bad market" -- but you see a bad market insinuates that these companies are making "investments" -- when in fact they are GAMBLING with their investments. There is a very slight, but marked difference that is sort of akin to how your Aunt Jane will re-mortgage her house for Vegas! Any owner of a Casino will tell you (and actually they are legally required to advertise) GAMBLING IS ALWAYS A BAD MARKET FOR THE GAMBLER! And when the American people only sit and complain but are in fact still buying at those crazy prices, well, why should these companies take the responsibility for their own greedy decisions and pay the piper from their own back pockets?

I am gonna say it: We, the public, are respectively, these Corporation's "bitches".

Isn't it absurd that a grocer will GIVE AWAY FOOD rather than simply DROP THE PRICE to move it at a reasonable rate -- HOW ABOUT $4 a box? They won't drop the price because then you would be on to their little ruse and they couldn't offer it again at a such a high price without eyebrows raising -- so they are trying to tug at your heart strings of how "pushed in a corner" they are by this "horrible market". IT'S A TRICK! They are trying to train you on this high price so that if it is ever! offered at a lower price (say $7 a box ) then you will jump on the chance to own what already grows, or is being given away, for free -- it would be a STEAL! And it's not just the Grocer playing this little game -- it starts at the Supplier -- who goes on and on about their troubles with the crop, the weather, God and more -- all while trying to convince the Grocer/Buyer that the flavor is the best ever! They try to convince you that the flavor is somehow worth it! LETS GET REAL: They are being bamboozled, too! In fact the flavor of most fruits and vegetables in the US is indiscernible -- being all genetically stripped of all things associated with a scent, so as to naturally hold back insects (who can't even smell that there is food there) and therefore decrease the use of pesticides (which was always an easy way out proposed by a chemical industry bc you can plant natural pestiferous plants near crops, but oh that's too difficult). Our food tastes like, well, often, NOTHING. BUT THEY DON'T CARE because they know, complain or not, eventually you will buy it and you will pay!

The Fact Is: It should not take a gasping broad behind you to drill the common sense home. Humans MUST EAT (DRINK WATER, CLOTH THEMSELVES AND HAVE SHELTER) TO SURVIVE -- so food (water, clothes, shelter) shouldn't be all that difficult to manage fiscally -- even for a low paid, uneducated chap! Diamonds or a Pied de Terre at The Apthorp or Dining at the Plaza or a Washer & Dryer in NYC -- now these are for the privy classes, I agree! BUT NOT PLAIN OL' BASIC KIBBLE!

And it's not just about apples & oranges... These corporations have sold us up the river on even WATER! WHICH FALLS FROM THE SKY!!!! But because "scientists" will back up how badly we've infected the sky with our pollution, they've sold us on the idea of having them collect it and then clean it -- and then package it in a plastic bottle (which further pollutes the sky!) and then re-sell for 100,000 % Profit TO YOU, SMARTY! Most people spend a significant amount of their income on bottled water -- corporations have it in their office budgets, even though everyone in America is already paying in taxes or a separate water bill to be able to get said same at home out of the faucet. Nevertheless, most people don't trust their faucets thinking it is "unsafe" -- and well, it is likely to be unsafe by this point. Now that everyone just accepts that they have to buy it anyway, why should the government spend so much to make sure it's drinkable at home, when they can use those tax monies elsewhere (some nice cushioned seats for the congress or on their bonuses, for example?)

Yet, here we are just forking over the cash -- working our little jobs -- many which have required an advanced, expensive education -- for NOTHING more than mere survival! Does anyone else find this ridiculous? Is this why the rest of the civilized world laughs at us? Or perhaps why, when they do come over to get a job, all they talk about is when they can go back? How does this sort of "charge the highest someone will pay and call it mercenary" set us up for an enjoyable life? How are we, scrambling to make ends meet, set apart from oh, the 3rd world? or a Pigeon for that matter -- just shuffling about trying to find food? My idea is if you were lucky enough to be born into the first world, and you are in fact scrounging about as if you are in the 3rd world, then you should at the very least join The Peace Corp where your scrounging is for a good cause and you will very likely get some prestige and honor for your suffering!

I challenge each of you to look at your grocery bills (water bills, rental bills, clothing bills) and ask yourself...AM I BEING BAMBOOZLED? It's quite likely that you are! And whilst we'd all love the Big Gov or our Big Brother the Corporate Grocer/Landlord***/Retailer to come and clean up these little messes, and take care of us like famy-fam, it really is UP TO YOU!!! whether you fork over your hard earned cash readily, or take to a picket line, a flip camera & the Internet to shut this nonsense down!

ADVICE TO OBEY:

1. Fairway needs to rethink its name. I wouldn't call $9 Oranges that taste like little more than scented water fair, would you?

2. Corporations need to stop LYING & GAMBLING with their profits! They need to show us some math -- some spreadsheets of what exactly is going on...and when they screw up they need to adjust their profit margin and take a loss, not charge us for their foolishness!

3. AND YOU, MY READERS, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR BRAIN MOVIN' & STOP BUYING $8.99 CLEMENTINES when you can damn well take them for free!

Oh, for the Love of Money!

B.

*** I'm actually lucky to say that I've been blessed with a human for a Landlord! So, they do exist!